Disturbed

It’s been a while...I really do not have any intentions of writing another blog entry (as I know I could not sustain it). Nonetheless, I’m thankful for such invention, which provides me an avenue to pour out my thoughts and feelings into.

I’m feeling quiet different right now. I’m not sure what it is, I feel disturbed, I feel emotionally weak, I feel vulnerable...so I have to let this out.

A few days ago, I got to chat with a friend and I ended up finding out that she has not been so well recently – it is not that it is something terminal though. But there was something the conversation that stuck with me...amused me rather. After all the health concerns and stress that have been bothering her, she told me, “I don’t want to die unwed.” I could not help but laugh at that!! How can someone still think about romance, when she is already vexed by some sickness that could, for all I know, might be serious?!! She’s a hopeless romantic, I concluded.

Fast forward, today, I would just find myself staring at blank, breathing laboriously, and tears swelling in my eyes. I have not felt like this for a long time. The last time I did was after watching this romantic Korean TV series. I just watched another one of these for the last two days. The story is about obsessive/ blinded love and devotion to the point of resorting to cruel means and even facing death just to be able to touch the person he loves for the last time. Besides the fantastic cinematic effects, the acting and rendition were all laudable.

Now I’m perplexed. Was it the acting, the actor, the character, or was it the story that stuck with me? I am now confused as to what is all these drama is about and what is causing all these feelings inside me? Is it the artist or the romantic fool in me?? Whatever it is, I have to shake it off! This is not me, or at least, not the person I seem to be...=)